


Boo to You Too

by SophieAyase



Category: Batman (Comics), Catwoman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Gotham City Sirens (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Halloween, Trick or Treat 2020, Trick or Treat Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26943478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophieAyase/pseuds/SophieAyase
Summary: Selina visits some of her friends and colleagues on Halloween.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot & Selina Kyle, Pamela Isley & Selina Kyle, Selina Kyle & Harleen Quinzel, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11
Collections: Trick or Treat Exchange 2020





	Boo to You Too

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FleetSparrow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FleetSparrow/gifts).



**in the case of Harley Quinn**

_“Kitty!”_

Selina braced herself for the overly energetic hug she knew was coming. Even so, she had to dig her heels against the sidewalk to keep Harley from knocking her over.

“Ya came all the way up here ta see me? Are ya gonna stay fer Halloween?” Harley asked excitedly.

Selina rolled her eyes gently. “No, I came up here for a rather specialized costume, and I can’t stay—”

“Oh, well, ya should at least have some lunch!” Harley interrupted. “Nate-man’s has a Halloween special right now!”

Selina took a second to ponder, as Harley beamed back at her. “The hot dog stand has a Halloween special,” she repeated.

“Yep! If ya buy a footlong, they’ll add the punkin spice mustard fer free!” Harley grinned. “It’s Bernie’s favorite!”

“Pumpkin spice mustard.” Selina realized she was just repeating Harley’s words, but even she needed some time to process them. “That sounds... unique,” she said delicately.

“Yeah, ya wouldn’t think it’d work, but it’s the yummiest!” Harley grabbed her wrist and started pulling her along toward the boardwalk. “Oh, Kitty, I have a perfect idea! After the hot dogs, ya should come back ta my apartment and we’ll watch a scary movie!”

Selina smiled apologetically, not that Harley was looking back. “I don’t really have time, Harley. I’m sorry...”

“Aww, there’s always time fer spookin’ with friends!” Harley replied. “Tell ya what, we’ll watch the movie at double speed.”

“What a novel idea.”

“Thanks! I’m full of ’em!”

Selina began planning her escape.

**in the case of the Penguin**

Oswald adjusted his monocle. “Hmm, of course, Selina, I shall be in attendance at Mr. Wayne’s autumnal soirée.”

Selina folded her arms. “I have no doubt of that. What I want is your word that you’ll be on your best behavior.”

Oswald chuckled reproachfully. “Why, my dear, I am always on my best behavior around the citizens of our fair city.”

“I mean it, Penguin,” she hissed. “Tonight, just for _one_ night, I want a promise that you won’t take it upon yourself to rob any of Bruce’s guests.”

Oswald scowled. “It would seem this means a great deal to you,” he said.

“That a fundraiser for a children’s hospital isn’t plagued by a few dozen instances of grand larceny? Yes, you could say it means a great deal to me.”

“Then perhaps you have something to offer me in exchange.”

Now Selina glared at him. “How about this?” she retorted. “Don’t rob anyone, and I won’t ensure there are cameras to catch every frame of it.”

Oswald sighed. “Ms. Kyle, I would have thought threatening a colleague’s line of work beneath you.”

Selina snorted. “You can get by without committing any felonies for _one night_ ,” she insisted.

Oswald squinted at her, as if scanning every centimeter of her expression for a sign she was less than deadly serious. At last, he made a displeased sound. “All right, Selina. I shall refrain from presenting the _nouveaux riches_ of Gotham with their just deserts.”

Selina sized him up. As far as she could tell, he was being truthful. _I’ll have the cameras tracking him just the same_ , she thought. “Because?” she prompted.

“Because it would be a pity for this marvelous affair to be marred by a heinous act of inhumanly clever thievery,” he said, with all the enthusiasm of a child made to recount his sins.

“Good.” Selina nodded sharply and unfolded her arms. “I’ll see you tonight.” She turned and began walking to the door.

“I shall look forward to it,” Oswald said, not bothering to sound genuine.

Selina put her hand on the door handle, then paused. She thought for a moment. Then she withdrew her hand, turned, and walked back to where Oswald stood.

“Then again,” she said conspiratorially, “if you absolutely _cannot help yourself_...”

“My kleptomaniacal ears await,” Oswald prodded.

“I suppose there are a few people who might not miss a few pieces of jewelry.”

“Quite so!”

“And if you were to make a further donation to the hospital. Perhaps, hmm, thirty percent of the value of those pieces...”

“Fifteen.”

_“Thirty.”_

Oswald sighed again. “I see you are most immovable on this matter.” He paused. “All right, thirty.”

Selina took a pen and notebook from her purse and tore out a page. “I suppose I can make a few recommendations of the _most_ deserving...”

**in the case of Poison Ivy**

Pamela frowned over her glass of water. “Selina, you know my feelings on the holiday. People are so _cruel_ to my pumpkins.” Her frown turned to a downright scowl as she set her glass down with a thud. “Plucking them, killing them in the very prime of their lives,” she said, as if to herself. “Not to eat them, no! Only to disembowel them, carving their skins into some grotesque parody of a monster. Ending their lives for some short-lived entertainment.”

Then her eyes cleared, as if she was actually looking at Selina rather than just seeing her. “I wouldn’t have expected you to approve of it either,” she said. “People are cruel to your furry little friends as well. Or have you not heard about the death rate of black cats in October?” she added sarcastically.

Selina calmly sipped her tea. “I don’t allow the actions of a few cruel people to affect everyone else,” she said. “Bruce’s charity party has nothing to do with the animal abusers.” She thought as she took another sip. “And, well, I can ensure at least some of those receive their just deserts,” she said, recalling Oswald’s phrase.

“Hmph. And will you do the same to every other house on the block, with their sadistic jack-o’-lanterns?”

Selina ignored the question. “I can assure you, Ivy, no pumpkins were harmed in the decoration of Bruce’s party.” She took another sip, allowing the pause to punctuate her words. “In fact, you won’t even see any plastic ones to remind you of your friends’ fate. Alfred considered the candles a fire hazard, yet Bruce finds electric lights in jack-o’-lanterns to be crass.” She shrugged. “The worst thing you’ll find is some cotton turned into sheets for ghosts. And even _you_ use cotton.” She gestured to Pamela’s lab coat.

Pamela stared at her water, as if expecting something to appear in the glass. Finally, she raised her gaze back to Selina. “I’m sorry, Selina,” she said stiffly. “I just can’t abide any celebration of this awful holiday.”

Selina paused for a moment, thinking. “And that’s final?” she said sadly.

“Yes.” At least Pamela sounded slightly apologetic.

“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind?”

“No, Selina, nothing.” Yes, certainly a note of apology...

“Perhaps you would, nevertheless, consider a donation to the hospital...?” Selina prompted.

Pamela half-smiled. “In exchange for your never pressing me on this again.”

“Done.”

**in the case of Batman**

There was a knock on Selina’s door. She took an instant to admire herself in the floor-to-ceiling mirror before responding. “Come in!”

Bruce let himself in, as silently as always, and eyed her costume. “Looks rather tight,” he said.

Selina grinned and turned back to the mirror. “A bit tighter than my usual catsuit, yes,” she observed.

“I’m sure there’s some significance?” Bruce prompted as he sat on the bed.

Selina ran her hands over the faux fur muff surrounding the neckline. “Apparently, this is what someone in New York thinks a cat burglar looks like. Hand me the choker?” She gestured to the thick black choker on the nightstand, offset by a white pendant. Bruce obliged, then stood behind her to secure the clasp.

“Mm, thank you,” she purred. She looked over at his reflection. “And your costume is?”

He patted his suit. “The sort of wealthy man who enjoys throwing a masquerade party.”

Selina chuckled and shook her head affectionately. “I had a feeling you’d say that. Which is why” — she turned and crossed to the nightstand herself — “I bought this in preparation.” She picked up a paper bag from the floor and held it out to him.

Bruce frowned as he took it. “Bruce, you can’t be the only one without a real costume,” Selina said, with the tone of a parent trying to reason with an unruly child. “It’s for the kids,” she wheedled.

A wry smile crossed Bruce’s lips as he pulled out the bag’s contents. “A Nightwing suit.”

Selina shrugged. “You know, he’s out there keeping Gotham’s children safe with his Batfriend.” She reached out to trail her fingers up his arm. “Not unlike Bruce Wayne,” she said lightly.

Bruce sighed, though she could tell he was more amused than annoyed. “I’m not getting out of this, am I.”

“You certainly aren’t,” she said lightly. She leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Come on,” she purred, “I’ll help you change.”

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this not thinking about how selina and bruce probably share a bedroom by now but whatever he has enough room for her to have a second room of her own


End file.
